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Why trying to find your ‘soulmate’ may be ruining your relationship life

by admin
August 3, 2022
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Why trying to find your ‘soulmate’ may be ruining your relationship life
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Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu and Davide Sanclimenti have been named the successful couple of Love Island 2022, after a tumultuous journey on the present.

The Turkish actress from Essex, 27, and Italian enterprise proprietor, additionally 27, received over viewers with their fiery however passionate relationship and have become agency fan favourites, even being dubbed “Mum and Dad” by many Twitter customers.

As they declared their love for each other within the conventional finish of season vows, Cülcüloğlu mentioned: “It’s been a hell of a ride for us. They say Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither were we. I love being together. The Turkish Delight and the Italian Stallion, perfect for one another. You are my soulmate.”

Lovely sentiments, certain, however is on the lookout for your ‘soulmate’ truly a very good factor within the seek for love? Many relationship specialists say no – and right here’s why….

Table of Contents

  • It creates an excessive amount of strain
  • You could decrease your requirements for the fallacious individual
  • It might be all consuming
  • You miss out on an entire world of selection
    • Related posts:

It creates an excessive amount of strain

Jessica Alderson, co-founder and relationship knowledgeable at So Syncd (sosyncd.com) believes that the thought of ‘soulmates’ might be poisonous.

“You can end up putting too much pressure on the relationship and setting unrealistic expectations,” she says. “It’s normal for couples to disagree and to have to work on things. The concept of a soulmate can imply that your relationship should be perfect and harmonious at all times, but this just isn’t realistic.”

Instead of pushing to seek out somebody who instantly looks like ‘the one’, you may discover extra happiness giving potential relationships the vitality to develop and develop.

You could decrease your requirements for the fallacious individual

Problems come up when you assume you’ve discovered your ‘soulmate’ and you set them on a pedestal. It could make you blind to purple flags, or ignore points that crop up and wish addressing.

“You can end up overly focusing on your ‘soulmate’ which can result in you lowering your standards,” says Alderson. “It isn’t healthy to think that a single person is your only route to true love, because if you are in this mindset, you are far more likely to struggle to set healthy boundaries, which means you can end up putting up with behaviours that make you unhappy.”

It might be all consuming

Dating apps could make it very easy to turn out to be consumed by discovering somebody (Alamy/PA)

If all you need is to seek out your ‘other half’, you may be lacking out on another, fairly wonderful, elements of life.

Alderson agrees: “If you are set on finding your ‘soulmate’, you can miss out on other opportunities in life, whether it’s spending time with friends, working on your passions, or dating other people who might be more compatible. Like with everything, there’s a healthy balance to be found.

“It’s completely natural to want to feel a romantic connection, but you shouldn’t obsess over finding the ‘perfect’ person. If you get too hung up on this, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

“It’s much better to approach dating from a mindset of wanting to have fun, and get to know the other person. If you are too focused on a specific outcome, you’ll struggle to relax and, as a result, you’ll find it harder to build deep connections.”

You miss out on an entire world of selection

Dating doesn’t have to finish in a experience into the sundown (Alamy/PA)

There is a whole lot of advantage in exploring the relationship pool and assembly different types of individuals – purely to see the place it could take us.

“There is a lot we can learn from dating lots of different types of people. It can help us to understand our own preferences and what we are looking for in a partner,” says Alderson. “It’s common for people to think that they are looking for certain traits when it comes to dating, but they usually find that not all of them are as important as they expected.

“There are people who thought they could never date someone with certain characteristics but, after getting to know them, they find that they aren’t as big a deal as they thought.”

Instead, deal with the enjoyable of relationship, she advises.

“Aim to have fun rather than find your soulmate. It’s a win-win situation. When you approach dating with the mindset of wanting to have fun, not only will you have more enjoyable experiences, but you’ll also be more attractive to others.”

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